One time not very long ago, while I was sitting around and checking my appearance in the mirror, I said to my husband, "I'm glad I'm a woman." Then I paused and waited for him to ask me why, as a confirmation that I have hit on a very riveting topic, and we should have a conversation. But instead of asking me why I was glad I'm a woman like I expected him to, he smiled that I'm-up-to-no-good smile of his, looked at me with that "Hey, baby, yeah, baby"-look ---ladies, you know what I'm talking about--- and said, "I'm glad you're a woman, too." Wink! Wink!
So SMACK! Right on his arm. "What's that for?" he asked pretending to be bewildered. That is for being a silly goose! I forgot that my incessant talking about nonsense sometimes puts my husband into a coma, and he knows it, and has learned years ago that when I make whacky-sounding declarations, the best route is to acknowledge and agree and not bother to ask why. Ticks me off sometimes. If I remember right, he didn't get very far with his "Hey baby, yeah, baby!" -ing that day. Serves him right for not letting me have the conversation, or rather my monologue on why I'm glad I'm a woman.
So now lucky for you, I'm blogging about it instead :-)
Okay, some of you will probably mistakenly assume I am going to talk about the woman's divine role in the plan of salvation, about how privileged we are to be our husband's helpmeet, and to be mothers of valiant spirits sent in these latter-days. I believe all that, of course, but I'm just not in that mode right now. And I'm not really an authority on the subject of divine womanhood, so to avoid preaching false doctrine I'll leave all that to the experts. I'll be true to myself instead and stick to the silly and shallow, because that's me: silly and shallow.
Um, --- actually truth be told, I can be deeply and painfully profound. Unfortunately, that's the side of me that puts my husband into a "stupor of thought" a.k.a. a coma. The guy married me for my looks not my brains or my profound ideas and sweet spirit, what can I say? :-) Not that I'm that much of a looker, but you know what I mean. Doncha?
(Plus for at least 40 hours a week my bosses pay me to act like I'm smart and know what I'm talking about even when I don't. I think I deserve to drop the pretense when I'm off the clock and enjoy my dumb-down state at home in my jammies. And since I'm usually at home in my jammies when I blog, you can expect a lot of dumb posts from moi'. If you happen to be blog surfing for intellectual enrichment this is probably NOT the place to be. But just for fun would you mind just hanging out with me over here though?)
So anyway. Back to the silly, shallow but still important reasons why I am thankful I am a woman. Some of them are as follows:
#1
I have a monthly excuse for bad behavior. When my husband gets mad and crabby, he has a character flaw. When I am mad and crabby, I am just PMS-ing. None of it is my fault. I am simply a victim of hormonal changes. Never mind that my bad behavior fell on the wrong point of the cycle, it still is a handy excuse to deny any responsibility. Men can play strong and debonair and say "Bond. My name is Bond. James Bond." But a woman can say: "I am PMS-ing and I have a gun. Any questions?" and it almost sounds so criminally dangerous it's empowering. I am woman, hear me roar. Roarrrr!!!!
#2
I have hair. I know women can go bald, too, but there's a reason why it's called male-pattern baldness. How many couples have you seen where the wife is the baldy not the hubby? I mean, really. So even though I say I hate my curly hair, and I complain how I have to get expensive highlights more often now than before because the gray is coming in fast, at least I have hair to fuss about.
#3
I can "caulk and spackle" my face. Of course, you know what I mean. Make-up. I'm glad I can use make up to hide blemishes and enhance my imperfections. Guys on the other hand are just stuck with the faces they're born with. Of course they can wear make-up, too, but have you seen Marilyn Manson? I have to admit even my husband looks kinda funny wearing make-up. He has to wear makeup on the job (he's a TV anchor) so he won't look like a ghost on TV. When the kids were little we lived close enough to the TV station so he'd come home in between newscasts to have dinner with the family. He'd have his TV face on, all caked-on with foundation and the kids would say, "Daddy your face looks like an Oompa-loompa's!" (You know, the little orange-faced people from the old "Charlie and The Chocolate Factory".)
#4
I can use products that make my skin feel and smell better and not have to worry about anyone doubting my sexual orientation. One time I asked my husband if I could put lotion on his face because it was looking dry.
He said, "I don't want stuff on my face."
"Com'on, it will be good for your skin. Let me put it on you," I said as I reached out to put some on him.
"Hey! Stop! That smells girlie! You want people to think I'm gay?"
" Stop being weird! (My friend) Michael swears this lotion works!"
"Honey---"
"Yes?"
"Michael is gay!"
"I know. But that's not the point."
"Leave me and my face alone!"
"Whatever, Dryface-Macho man. Pft!"
#5
I have choices. A woman in most cases can choose to be a SAHM (stay at home Mom) or work outside the home, regardless of what society or religion say she should choose. Men don't really have that choice. If they want a wife and family then it follows that they should work to provide. It's not just a religious or social expectation. It's a deeply imprinted natural and evolutionary instinct for them to be the hunter and gatherer and to take care of the folks back in the cave.
#6
I have a more interesting wardrobe. Some men maybe metrosexual, and obsess about their clothes. But most men I know are stick-to-the-basics type. Shirt and tie to church, shirt and tie to work, shirt and tie to dinner parties, maybe throw in a sweater and a vest here and there, and some jeans and t-shirts for the weekend. Some men spice things up with some ugly and/or goofy ties. But for the most part men's fashion is B.O.R.I.N.G. A woman on the other hand has the fashion world's encouragement to be as imaginative as her (or her husband's) wallet allows.
#7
I have a more interesting shape. I think it's fascinating that men are shaped so straightforward and plain. Created with bold brush strokes by a no non-sense maestro. A woman is more like the end result of frilly flourishes, put together with painstaking attention to detail. (Oh, hey! Am I starting to sound like I'm bordering on profound?) Definitely, a woman's body shape is a lot more intriguing than a man's, even when it's out of shape.
#8
I like that I don't have to do all that sweaty man stuff. On chores day (usually Saturdays) my husband gets all drippy-sweaty mowing the lawn, weeding our hillside, treating the hot tub, lifting things around in the garage, etc. Sometimes he comes into the house all glisteny and drippy to ask me for a hug. Ew! He likes to bug me that way. And he also likes to make sure I know he is a good husband and works hard around the house. Proof: sweat. But I work just as hard, and even longer: scrubbing 3 bathrooms, doing loads of laundry, dusting and vacuuming, etc., and not break into a sweat. I like that, because SWEAT = ICK. The only time I don't think it's icky is when I sweat on purpose like when I work out. I do that when I don't blog, watch TV, read a book or play with Photoshop on my PC which happens about--oh, every 5 months or never.
#9
I like that my man likes that I'm a woman. Ironic that he got in trouble for saying he's glad I'm a woman, too, right? But it honestly tickles me that my femaleness makes my husband adore me. It's like a witch's spell or something. When we were dating, he was like a puppy dog who wanted to be everywhere I went. Funny how I was never PMS-ing when we were dating. I hid that condition very well until he was reeled in, hook, line and sinker. Even now that we've been married, and he's been a victim of PMS, for over 20 years he seems to still really genuinely love my company. The "Hey, baby, yeah, baby" look he gives me is actually very validating to my woman-ess.
#10
I like that women are not emotionally limited and stunted by expectations of machismo. That's why therapists tell men to work on being in touch with their feminine side to be a better man. Isn't that amazing? How come I don't have to be in touch with my masculine side to be a better female? That's a good thing because, gosh, I would not be good at burping and scratching my crotch and yelling at the TV during sports telecasts even if I try (Chill, honey. The coach can't hear you!). I'd rather enjoy musicals and cry at sad movies, and be in touch with my emotions. It is a much healthier state to be.
And talking of musicals...here's my favorite clip from the old fashioned movie musical, "The Flower Drum Song." I took my daughter to see the Broadway play years ago. I should have shown this first before rambling on because, well, it succinctly enumerates the silly, shallow but still important reasons why I enjoy being a girl :-) So com'on and watch it! You might just get to know me better :-)
Okay, so here's my question:
So SMACK! Right on his arm. "What's that for?" he asked pretending to be bewildered. That is for being a silly goose! I forgot that my incessant talking about nonsense sometimes puts my husband into a coma, and he knows it, and has learned years ago that when I make whacky-sounding declarations, the best route is to acknowledge and agree and not bother to ask why. Ticks me off sometimes. If I remember right, he didn't get very far with his "Hey baby, yeah, baby!" -ing that day. Serves him right for not letting me have the conversation, or rather my monologue on why I'm glad I'm a woman.
So now lucky for you, I'm blogging about it instead :-)
Okay, some of you will probably mistakenly assume I am going to talk about the woman's divine role in the plan of salvation, about how privileged we are to be our husband's helpmeet, and to be mothers of valiant spirits sent in these latter-days. I believe all that, of course, but I'm just not in that mode right now. And I'm not really an authority on the subject of divine womanhood, so to avoid preaching false doctrine I'll leave all that to the experts. I'll be true to myself instead and stick to the silly and shallow, because that's me: silly and shallow.
Um, --- actually truth be told, I can be deeply and painfully profound. Unfortunately, that's the side of me that puts my husband into a "stupor of thought" a.k.a. a coma. The guy married me for my looks not my brains or my profound ideas and sweet spirit, what can I say? :-) Not that I'm that much of a looker, but you know what I mean. Doncha?
(Plus for at least 40 hours a week my bosses pay me to act like I'm smart and know what I'm talking about even when I don't. I think I deserve to drop the pretense when I'm off the clock and enjoy my dumb-down state at home in my jammies. And since I'm usually at home in my jammies when I blog, you can expect a lot of dumb posts from moi'. If you happen to be blog surfing for intellectual enrichment this is probably NOT the place to be. But just for fun would you mind just hanging out with me over here though?)
So anyway. Back to the silly, shallow but still important reasons why I am thankful I am a woman. Some of them are as follows:
#1
I have a monthly excuse for bad behavior. When my husband gets mad and crabby, he has a character flaw. When I am mad and crabby, I am just PMS-ing. None of it is my fault. I am simply a victim of hormonal changes. Never mind that my bad behavior fell on the wrong point of the cycle, it still is a handy excuse to deny any responsibility. Men can play strong and debonair and say "Bond. My name is Bond. James Bond." But a woman can say: "I am PMS-ing and I have a gun. Any questions?" and it almost sounds so criminally dangerous it's empowering. I am woman, hear me roar. Roarrrr!!!!
#2
I have hair. I know women can go bald, too, but there's a reason why it's called male-pattern baldness. How many couples have you seen where the wife is the baldy not the hubby? I mean, really. So even though I say I hate my curly hair, and I complain how I have to get expensive highlights more often now than before because the gray is coming in fast, at least I have hair to fuss about.
#3
I can "caulk and spackle" my face. Of course, you know what I mean. Make-up. I'm glad I can use make up to hide blemishes and enhance my imperfections. Guys on the other hand are just stuck with the faces they're born with. Of course they can wear make-up, too, but have you seen Marilyn Manson? I have to admit even my husband looks kinda funny wearing make-up. He has to wear makeup on the job (he's a TV anchor) so he won't look like a ghost on TV. When the kids were little we lived close enough to the TV station so he'd come home in between newscasts to have dinner with the family. He'd have his TV face on, all caked-on with foundation and the kids would say, "Daddy your face looks like an Oompa-loompa's!" (You know, the little orange-faced people from the old "Charlie and The Chocolate Factory".)
#4
I can use products that make my skin feel and smell better and not have to worry about anyone doubting my sexual orientation. One time I asked my husband if I could put lotion on his face because it was looking dry.
He said, "I don't want stuff on my face."
"Com'on, it will be good for your skin. Let me put it on you," I said as I reached out to put some on him.
"Hey! Stop! That smells girlie! You want people to think I'm gay?"
" Stop being weird! (My friend) Michael swears this lotion works!"
"Honey---"
"Yes?"
"Michael is gay!"
"I know. But that's not the point."
"Leave me and my face alone!"
"Whatever, Dryface-Macho man. Pft!"
#5
I have choices. A woman in most cases can choose to be a SAHM (stay at home Mom) or work outside the home, regardless of what society or religion say she should choose. Men don't really have that choice. If they want a wife and family then it follows that they should work to provide. It's not just a religious or social expectation. It's a deeply imprinted natural and evolutionary instinct for them to be the hunter and gatherer and to take care of the folks back in the cave.
#6
I have a more interesting wardrobe. Some men maybe metrosexual, and obsess about their clothes. But most men I know are stick-to-the-basics type. Shirt and tie to church, shirt and tie to work, shirt and tie to dinner parties, maybe throw in a sweater and a vest here and there, and some jeans and t-shirts for the weekend. Some men spice things up with some ugly and/or goofy ties. But for the most part men's fashion is B.O.R.I.N.G. A woman on the other hand has the fashion world's encouragement to be as imaginative as her (or her husband's) wallet allows.
#7
I have a more interesting shape. I think it's fascinating that men are shaped so straightforward and plain. Created with bold brush strokes by a no non-sense maestro. A woman is more like the end result of frilly flourishes, put together with painstaking attention to detail. (Oh, hey! Am I starting to sound like I'm bordering on profound?) Definitely, a woman's body shape is a lot more intriguing than a man's, even when it's out of shape.
#8
I like that I don't have to do all that sweaty man stuff. On chores day (usually Saturdays) my husband gets all drippy-sweaty mowing the lawn, weeding our hillside, treating the hot tub, lifting things around in the garage, etc. Sometimes he comes into the house all glisteny and drippy to ask me for a hug. Ew! He likes to bug me that way. And he also likes to make sure I know he is a good husband and works hard around the house. Proof: sweat. But I work just as hard, and even longer: scrubbing 3 bathrooms, doing loads of laundry, dusting and vacuuming, etc., and not break into a sweat. I like that, because SWEAT = ICK. The only time I don't think it's icky is when I sweat on purpose like when I work out. I do that when I don't blog, watch TV, read a book or play with Photoshop on my PC which happens about--oh, every 5 months or never.
#9
I like that my man likes that I'm a woman. Ironic that he got in trouble for saying he's glad I'm a woman, too, right? But it honestly tickles me that my femaleness makes my husband adore me. It's like a witch's spell or something. When we were dating, he was like a puppy dog who wanted to be everywhere I went. Funny how I was never PMS-ing when we were dating. I hid that condition very well until he was reeled in, hook, line and sinker. Even now that we've been married, and he's been a victim of PMS, for over 20 years he seems to still really genuinely love my company. The "Hey, baby, yeah, baby" look he gives me is actually very validating to my woman-ess.
#10
I like that women are not emotionally limited and stunted by expectations of machismo. That's why therapists tell men to work on being in touch with their feminine side to be a better man. Isn't that amazing? How come I don't have to be in touch with my masculine side to be a better female? That's a good thing because, gosh, I would not be good at burping and scratching my crotch and yelling at the TV during sports telecasts even if I try (Chill, honey. The coach can't hear you!). I'd rather enjoy musicals and cry at sad movies, and be in touch with my emotions. It is a much healthier state to be.
And talking of musicals...here's my favorite clip from the old fashioned movie musical, "The Flower Drum Song." I took my daughter to see the Broadway play years ago. I should have shown this first before rambling on because, well, it succinctly enumerates the silly, shallow but still important reasons why I enjoy being a girl :-) So com'on and watch it! You might just get to know me better :-)
Okay, so here's my question:
What about being a GIRL/WoMan do you like and really appreciate?
Posts
27 comments:
Funny post! There are many things I love about being a woman, too! I just wish I could control my emotions a little better, as it would make it easier to let the other nice, feminine qualities come out (like if I could keep from being grouchy with my kids I'd be a wonderful loving and supportive mother.)
I love all ten of your points! Go women!!
marivic! you are so awesome! ha ha!!! i love this! and yes... all men think the same way.. we start talking about how we are women and stuff.. and all of a sudden they get a BIG idea. {wink wink}
anyway.....
i love your list of things we WOMEN can do! ROCK ON SISTA! i'm right there with ya!!!!!!
Oh my gosh, you are one funny lady. Thanks for commenting on my blog...I too love John Steinbeck, hence my blog title. I will come back and read more of your funny goodness, I need funny in my life...thanks again. :)
Well, as long as you promise not to tell my husband, because I'm getting a lot of mileage out of the poor pitiful me routine lately, I love that I get to have the babies. To be part of that miracle, to have that bond with an unborn child, it is awesome. But I really like to complain about it so don't tell him, okay?
I love manicures and lip gloss and fun shoes! But on a deeper level I love my potential and my unique role, especially in my house where I am the only one of the female persuasion!
you go girl.
i love being a woman, too. there are so many reasons- do you have all day? haha
great post.
That was alot of thought in this post. What a great idea and it was so funny. Loved it all.
I love being a girl because all body noises or functions do not have to be talked about, laughed about and bragged about 24/7.
PMS is such a great excuse but tough to have.
i love this post. I love that I get to stay home and raise my children. Poor men have to off to work and miss everything.
I love all your points abouit being a woman!!! They are so the truth!
Cute post Marivic!! I love being a girl too. I agree that a magic spell has been cast on those husbands. I also had to laugh about the lotion too. I've tried to get Tim to use lotion, espcially for dry skin in the winter.
I thought you brought out several good points about being thankful to be a girl/woman. I am glad I am one, and I am glad I have two daughters too!!
Funny post! But, really, did you expect your husband to say anything but hey-baby, yeah-baby? Cuz that's exactly what I was expecting him to say and I don't even know him. :)
Oh I feel the same way, I love being a girl. I agree with all yours but I want to add to #8 that while I have to do the heavy lifting I still can if I want, which I do a lot of the time. But then I get tired and make Sean do it because, "I can't do it, I'm a girl".
Hehehehe
I love being a girl! I am woman hear me roar!
I sing this song all the time! It's so funny. My girls sing it too!
I agree with 1-10! I like being a girl and all it involves (even the stuff I gripe about:), I can be a tom-boy OR frilly and its all part of the norm. Men have such a 'line' they feel they can't cross or then they are 'gay'. Right or wrong, women rule the world. (I wish we honored that more:)
AND I get the hey-baby hey-baby which drives me nuts, AND I LOVE the power (a woman has the right to change her mind (often) doesn't she??)
Great post!
I love this song! I remember a girl sang it for our high school review! I also love having my man wrapped around my finger ;) Something I especially love about being a girl is being able to wear make up and have cute hair...although I rarely have cute hair ;)
I love the song and I LOVE, "Funny how I was never PMS-ing when we were dating." So true...
You have hit upon several reasons that I love being a girl - but here's another more specific one (very frivolous of course). I love that stage when you are young and can walk into a room (cafeteria, party, whatever) where other people your age are gathering and feel the boys looking at you. There is something empowering about that. Look at me! Once you're married - you can only catch glimpses of that feeling - walking down the street and catching someone looking at you with appreciation. See - I told you it was a silly one! But I'm not all that profound.
I love being a girl. A very smart woman once told me this story.
"Abra,I have three boys and two girls. I can change the oil in my car, and build shelves, and lay tile." (this woman is phenomenal btw, she did in fact lay her own tile in her beautiful house, paint her house, sew, cook, you name it this woman can DO IT.) Anyhow, she told me the best tool she has is her feminitiy. She puts on the charm and tells those boys what "strong boys they are" and "she's just a little girl, could they please go and change the oil in her car."
I'm the opposite, I used to always try and prove myself. "What? You can shovel dirt for four hours straight, me too!"
"Touch football? What's football without tackling?"
But this strong woman whom I admired, reminded me that boys need to feel needed. If we can do it all, then what do we need them for?
Besides, I'd much rather cook a wonderful dinner over changing the oil in my car any day! (All though, don't tell that to the man!)
Oh and thanks for popping over to my blog! It sends warm fuzzies when I see someone new has been over!
I am SO with YOU! My husband takes such good care of me and I love it. And that's the way that it's supposed to be per Heavenly Father's plan.
And I hope that my hubby feels that I take good care of him.
This is a fun post Marivic! I love it when you post conversations between you and Alan. I can totally hear every word of it... I can also picture Alan's face as well!
Fun post. I love being able to cajole and tease him out of a bad mood with a few well-placed squeezes and a smile! It's a girl thing.
I love the video, as did my daughter. I love being a girl because a smile, a wink and a bat of the eyelashes lets us get away with almost anything!
I hope that musical is available as a movie, coz I have it down to watch!
I love love love being a girl. I feel bad for my hubby on Sundays, when, to jazz up his suit, he gets to...pick a different tie!
I love makeup, too!
LOL!! This was great! You go girl! :) XOXO
I read. I loved. I had too little time to write an insightful or sweet comment and left you this ridiculous cut and paste thingy instead. Mwah!
Yea for women! I would NOT want to be a man. I couldn't see myself chasing and wolf-whistling the ladies. I prefer to sit back and have them come to me. (That didn't sound self-centered did it?)
I also love pink; smelly lotions and potions; candles; and shoes, shoes, shoes!
The best though is feeling the first flutterings of life during a pregnancy. I wouldn't trade being a woman for anything!
P.S. I'm glad I'm not the only one to think female's have the better shape! I just wish God didn't skip me when he was handing out the mammory glands though!
I love it. I used to sing this song all the time!
I'm glad I'm a woman because woman are not controlled by their stomachs. :)
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