Hear ye! Hear ye!
The Department of Motor Vehicles of the Great State of California has deemed His Majesty (my son) qualified to operate a motor vehicle and has issued him a driver's license on Monday, the 17th of November 2008 A.D.
Hurray!!!! Or is it, "Oh, no!!!!!"?
Regardless, watch out when you're on the road, people. Ready or not here comes His Majesty!
Here he is with his interim license (the real thing arrives in the mail soon).
This picture (personal info digitally blotted out) is proof of how excited he is about the new privilege. Keep in mind that His Majesty thinks he's too cool of a dude to show any intense emotion and have his picture taken ever. He treats me like I'm paparazzi and he's a celeb everytime I try to take his picture so the fact that he posed for this one means he is stoked about getting a license and wants to show off!
As for me, the mommy, well ---I am happy. I am sad. I am excited. I am worried. I am all of the above.
On one hand my carpool/chauffeuring days are officially over. No more shuttling guitars, amplifiers, and teen-age boys all over kingdom come on Fridays and/or Saturdays so they can jam with the band or just hang out. No more scheduling our life around his weekend social calendar. Now we can just say, "Why don't you just take Mom's car or Dad's car and drive yourself over to wherever you need to be. " Yay! But on the other hand there are the statistics on teen boys and traffic accidents and the lack of certainty that he is really where he says he is. Before now we knew where he was because we dropped him off there, and we watched him walk up to the door and we saw his friend's parent wave at us as he/she lets our son into the house. Of course, I trust him. He's always been a good boy and has never given us any reason to grieve over his choices, but... stories abound of good teen-age boys from good families doing stupid things once they have a little bit of freedom. From now on, I'll need to rely more on my 3 life-long friends: Faith, Hope and Trust. Faith that heavenly father will watch over my boy, Hope that we've taught him well, and Trust in my boy's inherent ability to choose the right; that he is not just "good" by accident of his birth and circumstance, but he is good to the core when tested absent his parents' guidance.
I didn't know I would feel this mushy about my son getting a driver's license. I have always prided myself in not being a helicopter parent. I tend to trust my kids and want them to be self-reliant. But it seems I haven't felt the need to hover over my kids more than I do now. I see past mistakes and wonder if they could have been avoided if only I were a better parent, if only I hovered and "interfered" more. Perhaps my son reaching this milestone represented by a driver's license triggered that melancholic feeling that comes with knowing my little birdies are testing their wings and are venturing farther from the nest. First to let go of my hand is my daughter, now a self-assured college girl. Pretty soon it will be my baby boy's turn. My chances at getting good at parenting are about to dwindle significantly. In a few years I will be practically irrelevant. I will still be their mom, of course, and always will be. I just won't be making decisions for them anymore, or be there all the time to look out for them. It's a very disconcerting feeling.
Well, I'll snap out of this funk soon enough. It's only a driver's license, right? I still have a few years to get used to all this. I might even relish the thought of an empty nest. In fact, my son just asked if he could borrow the car this weekend. Maybe my honey and I will go on a day-long date and enjoy our child-free togetherness. Hey, that sounds pretty good actually...
But before I go just a little reminder that if you're on the road somewhere in Northern California this weekend, please exercise caution. My precious teen-age boy is behind the wheel without his Mommy.
How about you, are YOU a HELICOPTER-parent? Do you tend to hover and actively supervise? Or are you a stand-back but vigilant parent? Which one do you prefer to be?
The Department of Motor Vehicles of the Great State of California has deemed His Majesty (my son) qualified to operate a motor vehicle and has issued him a driver's license on Monday, the 17th of November 2008 A.D.
Hurray!!!! Or is it, "Oh, no!!!!!"?
Regardless, watch out when you're on the road, people. Ready or not here comes His Majesty!
Here he is with his interim license (the real thing arrives in the mail soon).
This picture (personal info digitally blotted out) is proof of how excited he is about the new privilege. Keep in mind that His Majesty thinks he's too cool of a dude to show any intense emotion and have his picture taken ever. He treats me like I'm paparazzi and he's a celeb everytime I try to take his picture so the fact that he posed for this one means he is stoked about getting a license and wants to show off!As for me, the mommy, well ---I am happy. I am sad. I am excited. I am worried. I am all of the above.
On one hand my carpool/chauffeuring days are officially over. No more shuttling guitars, amplifiers, and teen-age boys all over kingdom come on Fridays and/or Saturdays so they can jam with the band or just hang out. No more scheduling our life around his weekend social calendar. Now we can just say, "Why don't you just take Mom's car or Dad's car and drive yourself over to wherever you need to be. " Yay! But on the other hand there are the statistics on teen boys and traffic accidents and the lack of certainty that he is really where he says he is. Before now we knew where he was because we dropped him off there, and we watched him walk up to the door and we saw his friend's parent wave at us as he/she lets our son into the house. Of course, I trust him. He's always been a good boy and has never given us any reason to grieve over his choices, but... stories abound of good teen-age boys from good families doing stupid things once they have a little bit of freedom. From now on, I'll need to rely more on my 3 life-long friends: Faith, Hope and Trust. Faith that heavenly father will watch over my boy, Hope that we've taught him well, and Trust in my boy's inherent ability to choose the right; that he is not just "good" by accident of his birth and circumstance, but he is good to the core when tested absent his parents' guidance.
I didn't know I would feel this mushy about my son getting a driver's license. I have always prided myself in not being a helicopter parent. I tend to trust my kids and want them to be self-reliant. But it seems I haven't felt the need to hover over my kids more than I do now. I see past mistakes and wonder if they could have been avoided if only I were a better parent, if only I hovered and "interfered" more. Perhaps my son reaching this milestone represented by a driver's license triggered that melancholic feeling that comes with knowing my little birdies are testing their wings and are venturing farther from the nest. First to let go of my hand is my daughter, now a self-assured college girl. Pretty soon it will be my baby boy's turn. My chances at getting good at parenting are about to dwindle significantly. In a few years I will be practically irrelevant. I will still be their mom, of course, and always will be. I just won't be making decisions for them anymore, or be there all the time to look out for them. It's a very disconcerting feeling.
Well, I'll snap out of this funk soon enough. It's only a driver's license, right? I still have a few years to get used to all this. I might even relish the thought of an empty nest. In fact, my son just asked if he could borrow the car this weekend. Maybe my honey and I will go on a day-long date and enjoy our child-free togetherness. Hey, that sounds pretty good actually...
But before I go just a little reminder that if you're on the road somewhere in Northern California this weekend, please exercise caution. My precious teen-age boy is behind the wheel without his Mommy.
How about you, are YOU a HELICOPTER-parent? Do you tend to hover and actively supervise? Or are you a stand-back but vigilant parent? Which one do you prefer to be?
Posts
36 comments:
I'm as hands off as I can be but my oldest is only 8 and my youngest isn't quite 1 yet so there's only so much watching without interfering I can do.
I like that term, 'helicopter parent'. So appropriate! I am definitely NOT one of them.
My son will be getting his license soon, too, so I understand the mix emotions involved.
One little card can mean so much, can't it. Really that is like a symbol of them growing up.
I wish I wasn't a helicopter but I'm afraid I might be. About some things anyway. I do try to let them figure things out on their own though, too.
I'm pretty hands off but there will definitely be some hesitations (and remorse) the day my kids get behind the wheel. :-)
I'm totally NOT a helicopter parent. I have to resist the impulse, but I usually succeed.
Oh, and don't EVER think you're irrelevant. I rely on my mom more now than I did ever before, not for meeting my physical needs (although she still does that too sometimes), but for friendship, companionship, good advice, guidance, and fun. :)
You're handling this better than I will. My son will have his learner's permit in about two years, and I'm already freaking out!
I'm becoming less of a helicopter parent as the years go on. (Maybe I'm just getting tired and old?)
congrats on the end of those chauffeuring days. and have a great date with your honey.
i am a concerned parent. helicopter? don't know- my oldest is only 6, so i think it is necessary to hover when children are so young. it's important to be close by and gently leading so that they learn those fundamental things.
We get mushy about so many things at the ages our kids are at, don't we? UGH And have hope... my somewhat impulsive oldest son never got a ticket and was never in a fender bender, at least that we know of!
Yay for AJ!! Caitlin got her permit last week :-(
I'm not looking forward to her driving at all. Oh well, it's a part of life. Aj also looks very handsome in his papparazzi photo :-)
Oh how I remember that day. So many different feelings huh. I loved it after awhile though. You are a normal everyday mother. Helicopter is always there to ride around in and hoover for awhile.
I don't have to hoover as much. (I like it) Shh... But, I tended too. I love watching them grow though and find their own propellers.
It does get easy. Up until the first crash. Joking. I just had to say that. ;)
HEY CONGRATS!!!!!
It gets easier, I promise...
I have 3 teenage boys so I totally hear you :) ♥ Hugs!
More milestones equal more tears. I can't imagine that day. (Don't want to either!)I don't know what kind of mom I am yet. I just want to be somewhere in the blissful middle.
I'm totally the opposite of a helicopter parent. My kids are all still pretty little, but I like to give them as much autonomy as possible. Indepence is a big deal at our house.
Mostly, it's because I'm a lazy parent, so when my kids ask for something, I say "do it yourself", so they just have to figure it out.
Congratulation to His Majesty. This is a BIG deal for a teenager. It means FREEDOM. I just hope that when my son get his drivers license they have some kind of device that records how fast he is driving. Or, a box that limits his speed. Or, a hidden camera that shows if he's texting while behind the wheel. I suppose I'm a helicopter. :-)
Personally, I would be a basket case, for all the reasons you mentioned. Thank goodness no one in their right mind would give the Big Guy a learner's permit, let alone the Big One, so we have a few years respite.
Helicopter? more like a well equipted hummer...
I try not to but the beast comes out!!!
Scary- but think how many of those teens just got their little card..
that is even more scarier..
I'll try to stand back when my boys are older, but I'm afraid I might hover! I'm sort of in the middle in the toddler in preschool stage. I don't stand over them when they try new things EVERY time, but sometimes I just can't help myself.
I wonder if that will carry over in the teen years.
What a heart-breaker you have on your hands :)
Yay for AJ!!! It's pretty scary when our kids start to drive. But, oh so liberating!!! Will you have him drive to Rite Aid for me to get some ice cream????
Your son reminds me of my brother at that age. Actually, he still never smiles for pictures and he's in his late 20's. I'm usually a helicopter until I can't stand it anymore.
Congratulations to the whole fam. It's going to be great for you- you'll see.
Now, my folks bought us an embarassing station wagon to drive. We'd use it when we needed it but it was totally too uncool to drive around when we didn't.
I'm glad I have a few years to go on the driving. I'm not sure how I will feel. By then there will be better monitoring devices. Perhaps a dashboard cam that will allow me to view the ride from a remote location.
As a former high school teacher, I preferred the stand back but vigilent parent. But, anytime a parent is involved I think it's better than a deadbeat parent. Sadly, there are too may of those kinds of people out there.
Good luck with the new driver. I think I gave my parents most of their grey hair when I turned 16 and got my permit...how I ever survived is a miracle now that I look back on some of the dumb things I did.
Oh my I'm not ready for that! I'm glad I still have 13 or so years! LOL! :)
Hi Marivic! its Rita I'm sorry I didn't responed earlier I am going to college fulltime (driving an hour there & back everyday)and my days are just not long enough to get to everthing. I was just reading about your son getting his drivers license. My son Derek just turned 16 last Tuesday 18th he can only get his learners permit at 16 in New York & get his license when he turns 17. Tell your son he is very lucky not only because you are his mom but because he can drive at 16 in California. I'll talk to you soon Love, Rita
Even though it doesn't look like AJ is smiling, I think I can still
detect a smile through his eyes.
Congratulations AJ. And please be careful. We love you!
The first several months of the driving adjustment is a scary and difficult one for me. However, once they start getting more experience it is quite liberating. I do better when I don't have to be in the car with them. I just pray hard and every time they leave ask them to be safe and careful. Megan has one year of experience and I do feel much much better about her driving.
As far as the helicopter parent goes, I would like to think I get less hovering over the years. I like the idea of "lead me", "guide me"...and then just walking beside..NOT HOVERING. I think that those who struggle and go hog wild when they finally do leave the nest were probably hovered over to a point that they couldn't spread their wings and perhaps even make some mistakes. Having said that, I still think a parent does need to be a parent too. When the children are in your home, that is the time to teach and speak up, but letting them make their own decisions as they grow.
that is exciting!!!!! stressful.... but exciting!!! :)
ha ha haaaa! ♥
I didn't used to hover, but my youngest has a habit of getting away from me and so I've turned helicopter-ish lately. My daughter is 10, almost 11, and I'm more afraid of her dating than I am driving. Life is so complicated. Here's hoping we all make it through, young and old alike.
Am not a helicopter parent, maybe more of a sniper.
Hats off to His Majesty for getting to this point.
Oh you poor poor dear! ♥
I have all of my children with driver's license now. When my first son got his license, I didn't know if I was going to make it or not. Here's why-in the FIRST week of driving this happened:
1. Hit a parked car of a my daughter's friends house-yeah, it was a BRAND new car-out of pocket 350. for a scratch on a bumper.
2. Was caught speeding on the way to seminary one morning at 5:55 AM-going 60 in a 45. Yeah, how about the cop gave him a WARNING and let him off since he hadn't even had his license a WEEK.
3. Got a speeding ticket in VA going you'll love this...92 in a 65! YEAH! Cost me over 1000 but MOM got him off.
Oh yeah, and then there's the 4th time, where he was in the driving and damaged 2 cars at once! He backed into the car behind him-doing damage to the Honda and the Rav4.
It's all I can do to let him drive now and he's 21 now!
I NEED TO BE A HOVERING MOM! I FOR real need a HELICOPTER with a LOUD speaker on it! LOL
At least it was only cars that were damaged and NOT my son!
So mom, hang in there. Yes there are advantages to not having to be the taxi anymore! It gets better!
I'm very much the parent that lets my kids try to go their own way, as long as they are safe (and safe means no broken bones or blood, I've let them fall down a few stairs, because they have to learn some time).
I hope you enjoy your blog-cation! Happy Thanksgiving
i will miss you while you are on your BlogCation :)
have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! ♥
WOOHOO, his first rights or passage into becoming an adult.
warrior recieved his permit at 15 and hit the road running. He had been driving various equiptments and boats, 4 wheelers, go carts, etc.
I had some apprehensions but I tend to freak a bit. So, Warrior and Mr. Incredible would drive everywhere and practice and when Warrior was ready to drive with me in the car. Mr. Incredible announced the big day. He does a great job and is aggressive but not scary and very safe. I find that timid drivers are the drivers who end up getting in accidents. They can't make a decision. they second guess, should I go, should I not go. Once you make a decision committ!
Too many accidents happen when they decide to pull out and then say OOPS! If you are going to pull out, you better follow through and hit it if in doubt!( that is, if you chose to pull out)
I can actually sleep in the car while warrior is driving! That says A LOT!!!! I don't rest easy when anyone is behind the wheel besides my dad and Mr. Incredible.
Won't let me comment above, happy Thanksgiving weekend to you and yours! (your turkey looks good enough to eat!)
I think I'm a little bit of both; my teen daughter is anxious to have her own permit soon, so my hesitation and excitement can't help but show up at the same time.
Hang in there, and you'll soon get used to the fact that you have another driver in the house... :D
I'm on the road in Northern CA right now. I'm a little nervous! haha no. And this is about a month and a half late, but whatever.
Post a Comment