Pardon Me For Bragging, But...

All parents --- the normal, real ones, not the freakily modest ones---like to brag about their kids, right? A lot of parents especially the younger ones (those who have not been through the horror of having their sweet, adorably perfect children snatched by aliens and replaced by moody teen-agers) can even get really delusional and think that their kids are one of a kind wonders. "My baby can sing and dance at 2 months old! She's going to be the next Beyonce'!", "Little junior can count to 100 and he's not even teething yet! He is a little Einstein!" Pttthhh!!! Don't you just want to smack some of these parents? BUT... even delusional parental pride is a natural thing. Really. I read somewhere that it's in our genetic programming. The natural parent instinctively considers his/her kids an extension of his/her genetic existence, a link to immortality. He/She tends to think, subconciously I suppose, "If my kids are great it MUST be because I have the 'greatness' genes. THEREFORE, I'm awesome and deserve the space I occupy." Or something like that. And they eagerly search for "greatness" in their child and brag about it because when others somehow recognize that "greatness", isn't that in effect a validation of the genetic source?

Well. So. I had my genetic "greatness" validated recently. And since I'm so, oh, normal and natural, I'm bragging. Is that okay?

About a year ago when my daughter and I proofed her senior portraits at the photography studio, the manager told me my daughter's pictures turned out so cute they want to enlarge one into a life size image and hang it among the other large poster size photos in their lobby. Could I please sign a release form allowing them to use my daughter's image in their marketing campaigns? And I'm like, yah, yah, yah, you're just working the proud-mom angle on me so I'd be inclined to order the most expensive senior portrait package for my daughter. You think you're talking to a rookie parent here, people? But, what the heck. I signed the release anyway, because deep down the ego is mightier than the brain. And just maybe it's true that I passed on some "cute and photogenic"-genes. Uh-huh.

Well, nothing happened for a while but this winter, when it was time for this year's senior class to get their senior portraits taken, guess what was in mail boxes all over town? And guess who's on it? Yes, that's the picture of my girl in the white shirt, in the middle of all the photos of the other girls from the other high schools in the valley selected for the mailing ad.

And this is the picture they selected for the life-size portrait in their studio. Yup, yup, yup! That's my girl. Can I say without making anyone gag and puke at my lack of humility that she is a beauty?


Hurray for me! I'm a beauty gene-carrier! :-) Okay, please stop gagging... because I'm not done bragging.

A couple weeks ago, she came home from shopping and told me excitedly that she's been asked to be a store model. She said she went shopping in a vintage clothes shop, and the manager approached and asked if she is interested in wearing their clothes and pose for their on-line store. She doesn't get paid bucks but she'll get store credit for clothes. She is so excited! She likes going to this store. I am excited, too. But not about the free clothes. I just never expected anyone to ask my girl to model because unfortunately she is a shorty-pants like her Mommy (Dad is 6'1"--- but she didn't take after him a bit). I try to tell her and myself that "Great things come in small packages", which is what short people tell themselves to make themselves feel better. But let's get real. Being short is very limiting. So when someone overlooks my daughter's shorty-pantness, because she has the look, that makes me feel less guilty about passing on the short genes to her, because that means I passed on other things to compensate, right?

Okay. I'm insane. And totally lacking in humility. But that also means I'm not a freak, like all these modest people, because I followed nature's programming to celebrate my descendants and my DNA imprint on posterity.

Oh, okay. I know what the scriptures say about the natural man (that he's baaaaad!!!!!) so I'm off to repent now. But, boy, it sure felt good to brag for a few minutes about what a great DNA cocktail I carry around. Can you forgive me for turning into one of these parents you want to slap?

Um, before I forget to give credit where credit is due and get myself in trouble, Daddy and grandparents contributed to daughter's genetic wonderfulness, too :-) But she was baked in my womb, so I'm just saying...

Okay, gag time is over. I'm done bragging for now :-)