What's Inside Your Paper Bag?

Isn’t it funny how lessons in life can come from the most unexpected places? Never did I think that moments of illumination can come out of brown paper bags.

A month or so ago we had one of the best Enrichment Night (my church’s activity night for women) that I’ve attended. Normally, I don’t do Enrichment Night (it used to be known as Homemaking Night) because I’m mentally allergic to things artsy-craftsy and homemakingly (not a real word, but you know what I mean). I say allergic because it’s like when one loves chocolate but has an adverse reaction to it when they eat it. That’s me and artsy-craftsy-homemaking stuff. I want to do it to fit in better with the SAHMs in our church, but my brain shuts down and breaks out in hives at the sight of recipes, scrapbooks, glue-guns, etc. In a world of women who are talented at and who find joy in cooking, baking, painting and gluing I am a freak. Of course, I do these things when I have to and my husband claims I'm pretty good (blinded by love?) , but where the heck is the joy?

Our last enrichment activity, however, was not all about things I am mentally/emotionally allergic to. Could it have been inspired? (Okay, okay, forgive. I’m being irreverently facetious.) It started with a clever Enrichment leader handing out brown paper bags at church and instructing everyone to put “who they are in the paper bag” and to bring it to Enrichment Night. Was there ever a better hook to reel the fish in with? If they were trying for better attendance it worked. I heard it was the best attended Enrichment night in awhile. How could anyone resist? I couldn’t. I had to know what that was all about. And since it also was not looking like an artsy-craftsy night, I went. And I was glad I did. For I now carry with me memorable lessons from brown paper bags.

When we got to the activity, we were told that we would have to reveal who we are to the rest of the group by showing and explaining what was in our paper bag. The purpose: get to know each other. We are a newly formed ward (congregation), with members taken from three different wards. So far we have sized up one another by outward appearances and made judgments about each other by what we see only with our eyes. Now we are to show one another more of ourselves. It’s time to look beyond outward appearances and perceived status (according to our own or our husbands's church callings/positions), and look into what we really are about as individuals.

Of course, it was inevitable that from some women’s paper bags, out came family portraits, and scriptures and scrapbooks and cookbooks and knitting needles. Those are things many LDS women define themselves by. But from the same bags also were running shoes, iPods, calculators, souvenirs from world travels, vintage jewelry, funky hats, stethoscopes, etc. My interest peaked as each sister revealed unexpected, and sometimes non-traditional facets of their lives. I didn't need a heavenly inspired event to tell me that beyond the stereotypes are diverse individuals, but I did need this one Enrichment Night to remind me that I need to try harder to get to know the individual inside the "paper bag", and not be so carelessly dismissive.

One paper bag was actually memorable not for what was inside it but for what wouldn’t fit inside it. A motor cycle helmet. It belonged to a sister who originally impressed me as --well, if I'm being honest --- kind of loud. Apparently her ride is a Harley. An LDS biker babe! Then she told the story of how she got pulled over by a cop for creating a traffic hazard by distracting other motorists. She was riding her Harley wearing nothing but a bathing suit and flip flops. She did have a towel wrapped around her waist though. Can you imagine that picture? She explained to the cop that she was rushing from her job as a swimming instructor to a second job. She didn’t have time to change into more appropriate clothes and didn’t want to be late. She is a divorced Mom raising young kids. The cop excused her so she could get to her job on time to clock in and change her clothes. He reasoned at least she was wearing her helmet. But he did admonish her for safety reasons to wear shoes next time not flip flops. Nothing said about the swimsuit while riding a Harley. I was amused and amazed. I was glad the cop had a better heart than mine. He knew that sometimes folks just need to make the best of what life hands them. But don't forget to wear a helmet, sensible shoes and a sense of humor for protection in case of falls --- and judgmental people.

Also at the activity was a young bride who I was tempted to dismiss as just another TAMN (Seriously So Blessed) a character so entertaining only because she is fake; otherwise she would be unbearably shallow. Instead this young sister pulled out from her paper bag evidence of her social conscience and a sense of purpose. She is a self-proclaimed Hippie Republican (ain't that an oxymoron!) She is a vegetarian, who loves the environment and animals. She talked about how she digs Edgar Alan Poe, Johnny Depp and Tim Burton films (Hey, me, too!). Even with her beautifully young and fresh face framed in reddish blond hair, she turned out not to be TAMN-ish in any way.

Then there’s the newly minted grandmother and former Relief Society president. She pulled out her old ballet shoes from her brown bag. Long ago as a young woman, she danced with a ballet company in her home city. Long ago. A dream given up for home and family. I felt a sense of melancholy inside me. I thought of the person I didn’t become because I became wife and Mom, a role I love and will choose again, but nevertheless, a role that meant the end of other dreams. I looked around me at the other sisters and wondered how many dreams lay buried at the bottom of those brown paper bags, under scrapbooks, cookbooks, and knitting needles. The breadth of their unrecognized selflessness filled me with awe. The joy they found in their choice filled me with gratitude.

I went home enriched that night. Enriched by the diversity I found among those who share one common faith. Enriched by women whose lives are filled with love bourne of selfless sacrifices. Women who are cliches but only to those who don't bother to look deeper into their brown paper bags.

I think I am going to like my new ward. And I think I might be going to another Enrichment Night. I'm still going to groan and roll my eyes next time I have to paint a wooden bunny, or decorate a cupcake. But at least I'll have fun knowing and learning from my sisters.

Give me a chance to know you and learn from you. Tell me, what's in your paper bag?